Tom Cruise’s summer action movie, Edge of Tomorrow, was more lackluster than blockbuster, so when they released the movie on BluRay and digital, they retitled and rebranded it as “Live. Die. Repeat.” hoping the more straightforward title would attract viewers that passed over it the first time. But what you probably didn’t know is that it kickstarted a trend with the studios that has made retitling movies the new hot marketing tactic in Hollywood. Here is a guide to the films you may recognize and their new release titles, feel free to use and share it with your friends.
MORE ACCURATE REBRANDED MOVIES:
X-Men: Days of Future Past = The Original Jennifer Lawrence Leaked Nudes
Divergent = Hunger Games
Transformers: Age of Extinction = Michael Bay’s Three-Hour Explosiongasm (Plot Optional)
Neighbors = A Less Good Version of the Movie ‘Old School’ for People Too Young to Remember ‘Old School’
A Million Ways to Die in the West = Forty Million Dollars to Waste in New Mexico
Captain America: The Winter Soldier = Avengers 1.5
The Fault in Our Stars = How to Lose a Guy in Eight Days
Godzilla = Breaking Dad
Blended = The Brady Bunch (with Fewer Laughs)
Guardians of The Galaxy = Christ Pratt & The Quest to Determine Who You’re Less Familiar With: The Alien Characters on His Superhero Team or The Actors Playing Them
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 = The Only-Amazing-By-Comparison-to-the-Tobey-Maguire-Trilogy Spider-Man
300: Rise of An Empire = 300: Fall of a Franchise
Grand Budapest Hotel = Wes Anderson and The Exact Same Actors As Always Make a Movie Only Your Elitist Hipster Friends Saw
Aaron Paul’s Need for Speed = Aaron Paul’s Need for Work
Noah = Anything As Long as Russell Crowe Isn’t Singing
Draft Day = First Round Bust
22 Jump Street = 22-Year-Olds Love This Movie
The Purge: Anarchy = Leaving Las Vegas
Wish I Was Here = Zach Braff’s Ponzi Scheme
TMNT = Megan Fox’s Last Shot
The Expendables 3 = theexpendables3.torrent
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For = Sin City: An Audience to Kill For
The Maze Runner = Hunger Games
Sex Tape = All Your Favorite References From Five Years Ago
Malificent = #YesAllWomen
The Giver = Hunger Games
And there you have it…remember boys and girls, if you’re gonna watch, watch educated.
Play on,
Dustin
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