Best Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

I am aware that this topic is well past its relevance point, and a sea of people have covered it more thoroughly and accurately than I have, but I simply had to write a thousand words on this particular topic just so I can sleep at nights. Believe me when I say that I really, really tried to leave this alone. It’s one of those things that bugged me to my core, but I knew that no one else cared about or wanted to hear me rant about on any deeper level than fleeting small talk. So I resisted. And resisted. But nope, just like Scottish whiskey and Irish women, I’ve caved in and decided to rant to the one medium that doesn’t take no for an answer (besides Ben Roethlisberger): the internet. Early mornings be damned, let’s get our blog on.

I guess we just chalk this one up as a failure of willpower.

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The Annual Heveron Extended-Family Christmas Party & Photo-Tour

So I got an email from my Uncle Hank a little while back, filled with all the pictures from our extended family Christmas party. Great shots of the whole family, everyone really enjoying themselves and getting into the holiday spirit, food, fun — there were even some candid shots of everybody singing around the dinner table.  There’s only one problem: I do not have an Uncle Hank. I don’t have an Uncle Hank, I don’t have a step-Uncle named Hank, I don’t have one of those close family friends who isn’t related to you but your parents refer to them as “uncle” anyway — I don’t even know anyone NAMED Hank. The closest association I have to someone named Hank is Captain Kirk’s buddy, the doctor character from the original Star Trek — a show I’ve never actually seen, but still have the misfortune of being aware of thanks to the pop-culture machine that raised me.

After a rudimentary examination of the email to make sure that it wasn’t the .00001% of spam emails that make it through both gmail’s spam filter and Apple’s junk mailbox, I saw that the fellow recipients of this Christmas recap email (which contained a whopping 21 full size picture attachments) all seemed like legit people as well. Although for the record, I’m not related to an Eileen Heveron, Margaret Heveron, or Robert Heveron, either. Now I love my family very much, but I thought it might be fun to take a photo-tour through the Christmas party of the family I’m not related to. And in an age where every embarrassing thing you do needs to be captured on the internet where it can be preserved for all time, why not post Uncle Hank’s faux pas on the blog for the whole world to see? I mean after all, any of you have better odds of showing up in these pictures than I do.