Tag Archives: tweet

Happy Fourth Twitterversary! Twenty-Five Tweets for You!

I started my twitter four years ago today, to impress a girl. March 12, 2009. Don’t ask me why I know that. Actually ask me why I know that. I know that because for a while, if you went to your profile page on the twitter app for iPhone, it told you what day you joined and I have a photographic memory. Probably. My first tweet was the exceedingly clever and original: “is trying to figure out what the deuce twitter is for…and how it’s different/better than facebook status updates.”

You’re impressed, I can tell. And now here in March 2013 (and 16,567 tweets later), I’m proud to say that I still have no idea how it’s different/better than facebook status updates, but for whatever reason it’s a lot of fun, so I keep at it.

As a treat to myself disguised as a treat to you, I’ve selected some of my favorite tweets from my first year of tweeting, all the way back in 2009, to share here as an twitterversary present. Enjoy them or dis-enjoy them, it’s up to you. And if you feel so inclined, follow me @ocdustino — sometimes I tweet things that are funnier than my first tweet, if only slightly.

And how did I end up with this as my twitter background picture? No one knows, and more importantly, no one cares.

And how did I end up with this as my twitter background picture? No one knows, and more importantly, no one cares.

The Highlights of 2009, in tweet form:
Oh you know, just sitting next to Alec Baldwin, no big deal. yep, this is LA. — April 26th (the first of literally thousands of the douchier things I’d tweet)

I wonder if my spray-on sunblock will cancel out the effects of my spray-on tan? — May 1st

I don’t care too much for money…which is a good thing since apparently it doesn’t care too much for me, either. — June 1st

Subway lady messed up my sandwich order 6 different times — I didn’t realize the sandwich artists were taking so many artistic liberties these days. — June 4th

sometimes it gets boring making out with hot girls…solution? make out with EVEN HOTTER girls. I should be president of awesome. — June 18th

I left my heart in San Francisco…but I left my genitals in Las Vegas. — June 27th

I’m celebrating 4th of July just like my forefathers did: oppressing minorities and claiming someone else’s land as my own. — July 4th

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Vine Time!

Social networks are like a box of chocolates: I don’t have a second part for that analogy because I haven’t eaten yet and I can’t think clearly on an empty stomach.

Vine is the latest offering in social media, and follows all the traditional steps of major social networks: simple design, decent funding, and early adoption by Mark Hoppus. The basic idea is that by using your smartphone’s camera, you create 4-6 second videos that you then share with the other 19 people who are on Vine. It’s like instagram but for videos, much in the same way instagram was like twitter but for pictures and twitter was like facebook but without everyone getting engaged all the damn time. Everyone wants to have the hot new social media service, but does Vine have what it takes to be the next big thing — or at least avoid the same fate as Path? I have no idea, but here’s a few things I noticed after a couple weeks of usage.

Screen Shot 2013-03-08 at 12.08.33 PM

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

30 in 30, Day 13: Ten Twitter Tips for Tons of Followers

“I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will live as one.” — Lennon, John.
“I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will live as one.” — Lenin, Vladmir.

A famous Tears for Fears song states that “everybody wants to rule the world,” and while I find that difficult to believe of, say, Carrot Top, it certainly seems like a person’s outreach is at a higher premium than in any age prior. That brings me to twitter. Even if you don’t have a twitter account, you’re most certainly aware of it — even if you aren’t quite sure what it is.  What it amounts to is outreach, with a higher ceiling than any of the mediums that preceded it.  On twitter, you are measured in “followers” — and in many cases, pressured to acquire more and more followers…starting to sound a lot more like Lenin, aren’t we?  Well never fear, comrade, for whether you’re a twitter newbie or a seasoned micro-blogger, I’ve sifted through millions of tweets, twerps, twits, and twinkies to bring you the Top Ten Tips that are guaranteed to increase your followers in droves, and bring you the supporters you deserve. Rise up, and read on.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: