30 in 30, Day 28: Things I Bought Today (and…Why?)

Today, I purchased a wide variety of items for my personal use. Because the internet is a vast wasteland of useless information and documentation, I’m going to share them with you. And let’s face it, if you had to willpower to resist the useless, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. So here we are, in no particular order…

THINGS I BOUGHT TODAY! (and why).

 

A videogame (FIFA Soccer 2012 (PS3))

An increasingly-rabid fan of the FIFA Soccer videogames (and soccer in general) since the early 2000’s, I can hands-down say this one is the best of the series to date. All the usual graphical improvements, but with a host of additional refinements that will really please people who love sports as much as they love pretending to play sports.

 

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Wher’ Da Gold At?

Tour factoids so far (Day 4):

+Somehow, everyone has contracted the same non-sickness.  None of us are actually sick, but we all seem to be passing around the sniffles to one another…it’s more odd than debilitating.

+We had our first day off today, which is always a mixed blessing — it’s nice to have some extra free time, but by the same token, we’re on the road in order to play shows, and having a day where we’re not playing shows almost feels like a waste.  Still nice to recuperate though.

+Mike Herrera’s (lead singer/bassist for MxPx) side project, Tumbledown, is following our tour routing almost exactly, but just a day behind where we are.  Weird.

+Kind of disappointed at the overall number of shawties we’ve encountered thus far, but it’s still early in the tour so I’m hoping that changes as we ramp up into towns where we draw better.

+Purchased a crapload of music today: the new Muse, the new Thrice, and the very old yet brand new Beatles songs.

+A minimum of drinks have been spilled in the van, which is good because spilt drinks are the number one cause of lingering bad smells in the van.  And when you have a couple of 8+ hour drives coming up, the last thing you want is to have to endure those drives in stank.

+Watched The Vampire Diaries pilot on my computer today via the free iTunes sampler.  No lie, it’s pretty bad.  The chicks are passably hot though, and it’s about vampires, so it’ll probably run for 10 years because people are idiots.

+Still pretty unimpressed with how the VMAs went down — finally saw a full replay today instead of just the Taylor/Kanye part, and aside from Muse and Jay-Z’s performances, I really could’ve done without it.  The VMAs are the number one reason foreign countries hate America, I’m sure of it.

Those are all the major stories so far, nothing too out of the ordinary.  Some sidenotes include a list of pretty inhospitable southerners (I thought “y’all” were supposed to be nice to visitors?), a homeless man who was trying to sell us a t-shirt that he clearly found laying around to “help the children,” and the outlandish desire to punctuate all of our sentences with “where da gold at?”

Oh and I’ve already read almost 2,000 pages worth of books at this point.  ‘Cause knowledge is power.

Cheers,

Dustin

P.S. They love us in St. Louis.  Of course, compared to the Rams, we’ve been a lot kinder to that town.

P.P.S. Where da gold at? Give me da gold.

Gang Green is Here to Stay!

Hello, friend! If you’re anything like me, you’re an attention-starved 6’2” Caucasian male that weighs a little over 150lbs and has a love for asparagus that’s almost as odd as the matching, circular birthmarks on my upper chest (I’ve just been informed that in the world of medical science, these are referred to as “nipples.” Fascinating). As a fellow graduate from a small, private liberal arts college, I’m sure you’re as excited as I am that Earth Day is finally here, and that we can finally do our part to help the environment. By planting a tree. Yep, that’s all you have to do. Planting one small sapling is all it takes to reverse the effects of hundreds of years of modern industry that has ravaged our planet – not to mention the irreversible damage that each of us does every single day, simply by continuing to exist. Sounds wacky, I know, but all it takes is planting that one tree, or riding the bus for one day, or blah blah blah…I’m just kidding. No one gives a rip about the environment, and Earth Day is for suckers. My contribution to my grandchildren’s future is going to be paying for a lifetime of swimming lessons for them in advance. That way, when the polar icecaps finally go all Wicked-Witch of the West on us, my progeny will be the ones who can hold their breath the longest and talk to dolphins, while your guys’ grandkids are gonna be the chumps who are drinking their own urine out of a Brita filter, Waterworld style. There are billboards scattered all over LA telling us to leave our cars at home today and not to drive anyplace. Um yeah, I don’t know what day it is on your “Girls of the Greenhouse” calendar, but out here in the real world, it’s Tuesday, and that’s a weekday, so I’m driving my car to work. End of debate. If you want to pay me what I would’ve made at work to stay home for the day instead, or call my boss and explain why I was two-and-a-half hours late because I took the bus; then we’ll talk. But other than that, I’ll see you on the 405 along with the hundred thousand other heartless bastards out there who care more about contributing to their 401k than to their children’s future environment. Cheers.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, on to things that people actually care about.

-It’s Business Time-
If you have ever laughed, smiled, smirked, grinned, giggled, guffawed, chortled – or are ever planning on doing any of those things at some point in the future – then do yourself a favor and go buy the Flight of the Conchords CD which is in stores as of today. I’m a mere 11 minutes from sprinting out of the office to my nearest Barnes & Noble to pick up my own copy. If you’re not a total masochist, you’ll purchase season 1 of their equally-hilarious HBO sitcom as well. Laugh your arse off, amuse your friends with bad impressions of New Zealanders’ accents, and behave pretentiously to your friends who think “According to Jim” is a funny show.

-The Humans Are Dead-
If you still want to ease your Earth Day-related guilt, maybe try eating at Chipotle – they’re known for killing animals and pinto beans in as environmentally-friendly way as possible. And I’m pretty sure their paper products are printed on material that’s entirely recycled from the ashes of the Native Americans whom we killed in order to colonize this great country of ours.

-Leggy Blonde-
Finally, in my last piece of mood-elevating advice for the day, go buy Thrice’s new CD, The Alchemy Index, Vols. III & IV (Vols. I & II came out late last year, but are also worth picking up). Even if you haven’t been a fan of their stuff in the past, let me assure you that everyone can find something they like about The Alchemy Index, and it’s great music to simultaneously reflect upon your life with, or rock out to if you’re looking to get pumped up. If you buy it and aren’t 100% satisfied, just come track me down and I’ll switch out your copy with Ashlee Simpson’s latest release – since you clearly have no taste in music and probably wouldn’t know the difference. We’ll save Thrice’s art-rock masterpiece for someone who doesn’t know all the words to the song “Get Low.”

That’s it for now, see you little rascals in the future.
Dustin