Tag Archives: The Matrix

Ala Cartman

I’m sitting here in my room singing a slow loop of the only words I know from the song “No Diggity” (which, I am not proud to say, are just “I like the way you work it. No diggity. And that’s it. It’s a very short rendition), and I can’t figure out why CBS is so popular. I’m not entirely sure how those two things are related, which is a phrase I haven’t uttered since the first time I saw Bruce Jenner and Kim Kardashian in the same house.

It’s 3am, I always find myself writing these things at 3am. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not staying up to write. I’m staying up because I’m in the middle of my once a month laundry marathon (that’s exactly what it sounds like. I only do laundry once every four-to-six weeks. I have a lot of underwear) and I can’t go to bed until I get this last load into the dryer. That should be soon so hopefully this post will be short.

I don’t know all the details because honestly who could possibly care, but basically Time Warner is mad at CBS because CBS doesn’t think CBS is getting enough money and Time Warner doesn’t think Time Warner is getting enough money so they’re taking their ball and saying “Screw you guys, I’m going home” just like Cartman from South Park.

So now, Time Warner has blacked out CBS’ channels from its cable service until they can reach an agreement on the best way to give all the millionaires more millions.

I own exactly zero copyrights to this image, in case you wondered.

I own exactly zero copyrights to this image, in case you wondered.

The problem is that blacking out a single channel as a result of this dispute has caused them to accidentally stumble onto the reverse of what cable companies should have already been doing for years: offering their services ala carte.

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Ten for Ten: It’s Good to be the King

Ten years ago is a nice, around number, ripe for reminiscing. It is with that in mind that I present to you the start of an ongoing series I’m calling Ten for Ten — basically I take something really cool, underrated, badass, or just really worth remembering from ten years ago and tell you about it here, a decade past its prime (hashtag: topical). You may even notice similar themes pop up on the 20th and 30th of each month, too. Because as a child I was always told to recycle and they never said that concept doesn’t apply to gimmicks, too.

Two-double-ought-three was the year where the sequel finally became king; properties like The Matrix: Reloaded and The Matrix: Revolutions, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Bad Boys 2, X-2 (the X-men movie), 2 Fast 2 Furious all did outrageously well and as a result the moviemaking industry decided to slowly phase out all non-sequels/remakes by the year 2020 (trust me, it’s coming…or have you not seen the trailers for The Fast and the Furious 6, Top Gun 3D, Die Hard 4, or heard about the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie getting greenlit?).

But in a year where both twitter AND facebook hadn’t been invented yet and Netflix was still MAILING disc to its client base (I bet if video streaming had never been created the US Postal Service would still be delivering on Saturdays), what else were people to do besides go out and see movies? Talk? Yeah right, good one Dr. Phil. However amidst the turmoil of the pre-internet-addicted era, one 2003 sequel stands out above the rest…some would even go as far to say that it spawned the “threequel” craze that followed soon after (though I’m sure Star Wars, Back to the Future, and Indiana Jones franchises would disagree). I’m referring of course to The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.

Like a boss.

Like a boss.

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