Tag Archives: industry

Ala Cartman

I’m sitting here in my room singing a slow loop of the only words I know from the song “No Diggity” (which, I am not proud to say, are just “I like the way you work it. No diggity. And that’s it. It’s a very short rendition), and I can’t figure out why CBS is so popular. I’m not entirely sure how those two things are related, which is a phrase I haven’t uttered since the first time I saw Bruce Jenner and Kim Kardashian in the same house.

It’s 3am, I always find myself writing these things at 3am. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not staying up to write. I’m staying up because I’m in the middle of my once a month laundry marathon (that’s exactly what it sounds like. I only do laundry once every four-to-six weeks. I have a lot of underwear) and I can’t go to bed until I get this last load into the dryer. That should be soon so hopefully this post will be short.

I don’t know all the details because honestly who could possibly care, but basically Time Warner is mad at CBS because CBS doesn’t think CBS is getting enough money and Time Warner doesn’t think Time Warner is getting enough money so they’re taking their ball and saying “Screw you guys, I’m going home” just like Cartman from South Park.

So now, Time Warner has blacked out CBS’ channels from its cable service until they can reach an agreement on the best way to give all the millionaires more millions.

I own exactly zero copyrights to this image, in case you wondered.

I own exactly zero copyrights to this image, in case you wondered.

The problem is that blacking out a single channel as a result of this dispute has caused them to accidentally stumble onto the reverse of what cable companies should have already been doing for years: offering their services ala carte.

Continue reading

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

There Can Be Only One (or Four): My WE3k at #E3.

One or Four? Four or One? Xbox or Playstation? Sony or Microsoft? 1 or 4? The debate between which of those two numbers is better hasn’t been this heated since the Rocky series of movies was released, but in 2013 it’s more relevant than ever.

I spent the week at the world’s premier video game convention, E3 (an acronym that stands for: Electronic Entertainment Expo, which I had to google), trying to come up with an answer to that all-important question of the day, and I think I have.

But it wouldn’t be much of a post if I just told you which one I liked best right out of the gate (spoiler alert: PS4), so allow me to take you on a journey of extraneous detail and uneducated observations that I like to call:

MY WE3K AT E3: The Everyman’s Essential Exploration of the Electronic Entertainment Expo’s Earliest Entries into the Ether (or, The E3x3, for short).

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten for Ten: Old School

What is 10 for 10? On the tenth of every month I take something really cool, underrated, badass, or worth remembering from ten years ago and tell you about it here, a decade past its prime. You may even notice similar posts pop up on the 20th and 30th of each month. Because as a child I was always told to recycle, and they never said that concept doesn’t apply to gimmicks, too. Check out previous Ten for Ten posts from March and February.

“We’re all going streaking!”

“You’re my boy, Blue!”

“He’ll do one!”

“Earmuffs.”

Just a scant ten years ago, those quotes were only glimmers in Will Ferrell, Luke Wilson, and Vince Vaughn’s eyes. A decade later the movie Old School is, itself, becoming old school, but still holds up alongside the R-Rated blockbuster-comedies of today. Hits like The Hangover, Knocked Up, Superbad, Bridesmaids, The 40-Year Old Virgin, etc. all exist because Old School showed that comedies for grown-ups can be funny and (more importantly to Hollywood), profitable.

old school

In addition to giving us a new movie genre, a far superior (and F-word-laden) version of “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, and the legendary “tranq gun” scene, Old School also gave us arguably the most important comedy element of the 2000s: Will Ferrell. In 2003, Will Ferrell was on the uncertain precipice of a comic actor trying to transition from TV to film…so what kept Big Willie Style from succumbing to the same fate of obscurity as his fellow SNL alum Cheri Oteri, Chris Kattan, Tim Meadows and the like? Old School (combined with Elf’s success) gave Ferrell enough street cred to make Anchorman, Talladega Nights, Blades of Glory, Semi-Pro, Step Brothers, and a half dozen other movies that redefined the modern day comedy movie.

When you see Hangover III this summer and complain that it wasn’t funny as the first one (even though it will have just made 300 million dollars at the box office), remember that if it wasn’t for Old School, the only funny movies they’d be making for grown ups would be Grown Ups…and nobody in the mood for a funny movie wants to see an Adam Sandler film (speaking of washed up SNL alum, Grown Ups 2 comes out this July).

So grab some buddies, a case of the cheapest light beer you can get your hands on, pop this ’03 comic masterpiece into your DVD player and get ready to laugh. And bring your green hat.

Play on,
Dustin

Want more Mind Bullets? New posts go up every Wednesday at noon PST (or as close to that as I feel like), and you can subscribe if you want them delivered right to your inbox. Or if you’re too impatient to wait that long you can follow me on twitter, instagramyoutube (new videos every Monday), and my boring personal website. Whew, that’s a lot of self promotion…I don’t even like me enough to keep up with all that.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Paid to Pool Party

I’m going to be completely upfront with you for a second: I am bored out of my mind by what I’m about to show you. The premise is simple, I was shooting a commercial (as I’ve been known to do from time to time), and sometimes I try to get some nifty “behind the scenes” footage when I perform in these TV adverts because it sounds like a good way to get some extra mileage out of my acting “career“. But then I get home and try to string it together (I edit out very little) and it always just comes off pretty boring to me. How’s THAT for a knock-your-socks-off sales pitch? However I was always taught not to waste anything, so it feels like I still need to put these behind-the-scenes vlogs online. Because that’s what I learned watching SchoolHouse Rock as a child/teen/adult. Anyway here’s the latest, I hope you hate it. :)

Play on,
Dustin

Still not bored? Try this similar vlog on for size, or maybe THIS nearly identical one!

 

Oh and here’s a picture of me shirtless:

This is my father and I at a pool in Palm Springs, California. It is unrelated to the rest of this post.

This is my father and I at a pool in Palm Springs, California. It is unrelated to the rest of this post.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Twenty for Twenty: Heart and Souls

The world has changed a lot since 1993. On the 20th of each month, Twenty for Twenty takes us back to the best of 1993 and shares some gems that are gone, but shouldn’t be forgotten. If reminiscing is your thing, feel free to check out my Ten for Ten or Thirty for Thirty posts — which are literally the exact same gimmick cheaply repurposed for a combination of my own amusement and laziness.

What if I told you we could put Charles Grodin, Kyra Sedgwick, and Robert Downey Jr. into the same room and watch them perform onscreen for two hours? You’d probably have to google two of those three names like I did. But luckily 1993 beat you to the punch, and produced the heart and soul warming movie, Heart and Souls.

If Downey had made this movie ten years later it would've been called Heart and Souls and a Coke Problem.

If Downey had made this movie ten years later it would’ve been called Heart and Souls and a Coke Problem.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: