Tag Archives: friends

Rosewood Visualization — A Photoblog

Hi chums and chumettes (that can’t be right),

As you know, the primary focus of this blog is to brag about myself and have everyone be impressed with me (is it working yet?). However, even I have to acknowledge that my extremely inflated ego wouldn’t be inflated to nearly the same extremity without the occasional help of my other friends in the creation industry. Today I’d like to highlight a couple of my good friends at Rosewood Visuals, self-described purveyors of classically styled imagery (and I must say I agree). You can find samplings of their work and contact info here, and you can find their twitter handles here (Carl) and here (Jay). And while we’re plugging things, make sure to check out the other arm of their work at The Coveted Man (dot) com. Cool stuff if you’re a man or know a man…and without giving anything away, you might even see me pop up on there at some point in the future. (That’s called foreshadowing and it’s a trick I learned at screenwriting college in exchange for $160,000).

Anyway here are some pictures they took of me and later photoshopped into something attractive:

Play on,
Dustin

Like pictures of me? Well you can find more of them on my instagram, my twitter, and a couple from the cover of a Bed, Bath & Beyond catalogue.

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The Gras is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Mardi

I was perusing the internet for…does it even matter? At this point in our society does one even need to qualify why one was exploring the internet? Isn’t it just a given 70% of the time (which is probably a lowball percentage)? Anyway it wasn’t porn and let’s leave it at that.

I was perusing the internet and came across a list of “funny words to help you write funnier stories” and I got about as far as the first three (in case you wondered: bamboozled, bevy, and bazinga —worth noting that the last one isn’t even an actual word) before I stopped reading and thought to myself: this is what people are using to create humor? No wonder Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men and Castle are in the top ten highest rated comedies of 2012 (via imdb). For that matter, NCIS (which for God knows why is listed as a comedy) is rated six spots higher than one of my favorite TV comedies, the late 30 Rock — which people tell me is just an NYC-inside-joke heavy, fast-talking “smart” non-comedy for pretentious assholes — but I suppose that’s what I get for letting my waiter make conversation with me when he should be in the back figuring out how to not mess up my drink a second time and what the hell he’s gonna do with a liberal arts degree in communication.

I’m hardly an expert on the matter, but to me using a list of funny words to help “funny-up” your writings is the equivalent of using a fart to open up your stand-up comedy routine — it probably gets a bit of a chuckle initially, but then people are just left with the stench of your actual content (both figuratively and literally in that example). Also, “fart” was shockingly absent from the aforementioned list of funny words, which makes me question the legitimacy of the entire thing.

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How an Old Dog Taught Me a New Trick

Gatsby the Brave

Our dog’s name is Gatsby (yes, after the literary figure and soon-to-be Leonardo DiCaprio vehicle). And like most dogs, our dog does something incredibly annoying. Actually several things, but for now we’ll just focus on the one. And this annoying thing is every time we get ready to leave, he flips out, sprints around the house and runs to a favorite corner of the couch or under the table to hide, making a variety of noises the entire time. When we go to extricate him, he’s usually shaking, sad, and generally worked into a pretty hysterical state. The reason he reacts like this is because he knows that when we leave the house it means that he’s about to go into his crate, and he doesn’t like his crate (this seems to be a pretty universal canine crate trait). Or at least that’s what I thought the reason was. Until I noticed that Gatsby actually didn’t seem to mind his crate that much. It’s got enough room for him to move a bit and lay down if he wants, he gets a little treat when he goes in, it’s even got his favorite blanket in there for him to burrow in to. And when he’s in his crate, he’s actually quite calm — maybe resigned to his fate is the vibe — and exhibits none of the freak-out emotions that he does prior to being put into his doggie domicile. And that’s when it hit me: it’s not the crate he dislikes, it’s the fact that we’re leaving that he can’t stand. Gatsby has a lot of separation anxiety (more so than most dogs) and he loves to be around us (the order in which he likes us is actually hilariously and borderline rudely obvious), so I’m not overstating things when I tell you that us leaving is the worst thing that he can imagine happening. Compounding that dislike into something even more intense is that, as a dog, any time we leave, he literally has no idea when or if we’ll be back. As far as his little canine mind knows, this may be the very last time that he gets to see the people he loves most in the world. Gatsby simply lacks the capacity to spot the differences that indicate either a long vacation away from home or a quick run to the fro-yo joint down the block. So then in this new light, all the sadness, the shaking, the general “my world is collapsing around me!” emotions he goes through every time we leave makes sense. Gatsby might never see us again (as far as he knows) and that’s worth working himself into a lovesick hysterical sadness.

It’s easy enough to attribute a behavior like that to the inferior brain of a canine (you wouldn’t be wrong) and simply brush it off while mentally patting ourselves on the back for having such a supreme intelligence that we can decipher TIME and DISTANCE, etc. But really, we don’t have a superior mind, we have the very same flaw — just on the opposite end of the spectrum. Just as Gatsby overreacts and lets his emotions run wild, so do we err on the side of apathy and taking our loved ones for granted — assuming that there will always be another opportunity to show our affections or express our love.

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The Nine Phrases You Need to Stop Using in Your Bio

Spoiler Alert: social media is kind of a big deal.  We live in a fast-paced, media savvy world where we, as individuals, are less often required to simply describe ourselves by a list of hobbies and stats as we are called upon to sell ourselves as a brand or product.  Presenting yourself in a compelling and unique fashion isn’t a luxury for those with the gift of gab, it’s a necessity to showcase what makes you better than the next guy.  Potential employers are skimming your facebook page, potential love interests are scrolling through your twitter profile, and potential stalkers are checking your foursquare account so they can plan “accidental” run-ins with you at Whole Foods (w/ @ocdustino & 9 other people http://4sq.com/89ExVc).

All that translates into a world where — if you want to put your best virtual foot forward — you need to have something better than “LiVe LaUgH lOvE” in your About Me section.  Since I have a weekend’s worth of bad karma to undo (and by “karma” I mean “liver damage”), I’m gonna give you a head start by presenting…

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Hair Trigger

So I’ve been hearing a lot of feedback about my hair lately. As is usually the case when dealing with opinions, this feedback falls into one of three categories: negative, positive, and neutral. The only downside when dealing with hair is that the negative feedback tends to be a lot more descriptive and specific than the positive or neutral; people who like your hair typically choose comments such as “I like your hair” and leave it at that. Folks in the neutral camp might go with “your hair looks ok” or something along those lines. But the negative group — rather than simply state “I don’t like your hair” or “your hair is bad” — feel the need to describe every single thing they dislike about it (“I hate the way you part your hair” “I can’t believe you’re growing it out, it looks awful” “it’s so gross and wispy looking” “you look Amish” etc.), then repeat their complaints in as many different ways and as often as possible. It would be nice if this worked both ways, and that if someone really liked your hair, instead of limiting themselves to the one-time “I dig your hair” they’d yell “OH MY GOD, YOUR HAIR IS SO AWESOME! I love the way it sticks up in the back and I wish I could follow you around and stare at it all day, I love it so” every single time they saw you. But they can’t, because A) that’s creepy and B) I doubt that anyone likes someone’s haircut enough to actually feel those emotions about hair…and really one hair compliment per person is plenty.

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