Tag Archives: creative

Memo to Peter Bart: Don’t Be A Dick

I was perusing the trades (that’s slang for entertainment industry trade papers) recently in an effort to live vicariously through the people who actually do what I just imagine doing for a living, and I came across an article by Peter Bart (former Editor-in-Chief at Variety) regarding The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart and his foray into the world of film directing (the dickishly titled “Memo to Jon Stewart: Stick with Your Day Job Behind the Desk”).

Artist's rendering of Peter Bart, who believes that creative people should be neither seen nor heard.

Artist’s rendering of Peter Bart, who believes that creative people should be neither seen nor heard.

You can read the article if you like, but the general idea is that Peter Bart spends 600 words essentially just shitting on Stewart’s desire to sit in the director’s chair. How does Peter Bart justify his Debbie Dickhead attitude toward Jon Stewart’s project? Well, Bart points out, Bob Dyaln was a celebrity who directed a movie…and it was bad! Not convinced? Well, Bart says, Madonna was a celebrity who directed a movie…and it was also bad!

So just to recap: because Bob Dylan made a bad movie in 1978, no one should try to direct a movie ever again. Got it. And obviously this has everything to do with the fact that Dylan and Madonna were already established stars that tried to transition into directing, and nothing to do with the fact that they were just bad directors (the Dylan film’s final cut clocked in at OVER four hours long, but yeah, I’m sure it was only a flop because he was a celebrity trying to direct). Double got it.

Bart goes on to reference successful directors (Clooney, Sean Penn, Scorsese, Oliver Stone, Elia Kazan, and Francis Coppola) who didn’t release their best work until later on in their directorial careers, and whose first projects either weren’t well-received or just weren’t that good. Basically Bart’s message is if you haven’t already done something, you shouldn’t do it.

Um. What.
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The 9 Stages of Creation

The writer/creator/artist lifecycle has nine very distinct stages:

1 — Get idea, think it’s great or hilarious or whatever.

2 — Write/produce/create idea, still really excited.

3 — Get about 80-90% finished creating/writing/producing idea, begin to loathe all aspects of the idea, doubt the goodness of any idea you’ve ever had.

4 — Stop working on idea altogether, now convinced you are the least-intelligent person ever…person’d…Christ I can’t even think of the right word to replace person’d, so I guess we’re just gonna leave that word in there. Question any and all accomplishments and ideas in your life, convinced everything you’ve ever written, produced, performed in, created, suggested, or said in public or private is worthless shit that even Hitler would be embarrassed to claim as his own.

5 — Finish project just so the hours you’ve poured into it won’t feel like a complete and utter waste. Contemplate sitting in running car with your garage door closed until sweet monoxide-flavored release takes you to a place away from all pressure of creativity, a place whose only language is high-fives and ice cream.

6 — Submit project to boss or internet, lock self in Y2K bunker to avoid the imminent mockery of strangers and the ostracization of your family/loved ones.

7 — Pretend your idea/project/creation never happened in the first place, make all dinner reservations under assumed identity.

8 — Many, many years later, look back on created product/idea/written work/project and get mild enjoyment from it, wonder if you might’ve been overreacting initially.

9 — Come up with new idea, repeat entire process; oblivious to the new, fresh Hell you’re about to willingly subject yourself to.

Play on,
Dustin

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30 in 30, Day 22: At Least I Didn’t Cover a Britney Spears Song

Ok, you got me. There might be a partial untruth in this blog’s title…specifically, that I may have covered a Britney Spears song for today’s 30 in 30 project. Now I don’t want to be “disclaimers for my lack of musical ability/knowledge” guy, but I will just say that I played/sang/arranged everything myself (minus the drums), on my computer earlier this evening, in a handful of hours. I get particularly self-conscious when it comes to musical things because I’ve been blessed with so many musically-talented friends who put out content that’s both legitimate, and legitimately good. However, I am still in the unprofessional/amateur category, so I try not to hold myself to their high standards. Luckily, no one on the internet is judgmental, so I imagine people will only have the nicest of things to say about it. Moving on, Britney Spears was in town recently, and I’ve been toying with covering one of her iconic songs for quite some time, but full credit to my buddy Chris S. who pointed out what a catchy cover song this would make. Mayhaps this rendition will further inspire us to do an even better cover within a cover, Inception style. As Reese Roper often said, “I hope you hate it.”

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30 in 30, Day 1: Every Journey Begins with a Single Christmas Parody Video

Hey guys,

College football kicked off the 2011/12 season today, and I’m stoked to be kicking off an event of my own (albeit a less important one). As you may or may not recall, I am technically an “actor,” and while I’m no Carl Weathers in terms of sheer talent, I’ve been fortunate enough to work on a few pretty cool projects lately, but I’ve been looking for a way to broadcast some small parts of those projects, while simultaneously working on ways to push my creativity in preparation for what is shaping up to be a pretty active next few months.  Yes, that was all one sentence. I am paid by the comma.

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