Matches for: “movie trailer” …

Epic Movie Trailer Machine x 9000!

You like teaser trailers, right? Like the latest ones for super-spy Jimmy Bandaids and The Men of Anchoring sequels? Well then you’re in luck, because I have one minute and three seconds of great news to kick off your weekend! There’s another blockbuster teaser trailer that just came out, and you’re seeing it here, first! Unless you saw it on my youtube, twitter, or facesbook first. Enjoy.

Play on,

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30 in 30, Day 17: Twitter, the Movie (Trailer)

I got to hang with a few of my buddies over the weekend who also happen to be in one of the world’s ass-kickingest bands (House of Heroes). It made me miss being on the road with them, which fused with my longtime desire to try out the ol’ iMovie Trailer feature resulted in this mishmash of old footage that I cut together to amuse myself. If you don’t find it fully hilarious, you just haven’t had enough to drink yet. Enjoy.


“In a world where society and distance kept them apart, twitter brought them closer than ever.”

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Can You Smell BMS? (Dustin’s Summer Movie Preview ’09)

I love…



…blockbuster movie season (BMS…known as summer to those of you who don’t live in a place where it’s summer 24/7). Although I enjoy almost all genres of cinema, I particularly like the stereotypical, big budget summer blockbuster movies with their shiny FX, barely-there plotlines and their “hottie du jour” starlets. Maybe that statement gives you a glimpse into what sort of shallow, easily-entertained person I am. Or maybe that’s just my way of reverse psychologying you into thinking I’m actually deep by saying I’m shallow. Boom, reverse psychology’d (like a boss).

I was thinking about firing up my weekly review of some of the mega-hits I’m excited for this BMS, but I may be too poor to see all of them in the theater and I think they frown on it when you spend your unemployment money at the Arclight Cinemas. Boom, recession’d (like a boss). That said, here’s a list of the movies that I will definitely be Netflixing (aka Blockbuster Online-ing…but that’s too many syllables) six months after their theatrical release and why I’m excited about them (or not, if I think they’ll be bad).

— MAY —
Battle for Terra: Weak CGI + made by a Canadian production company = flop.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past: Matthew McConaughey makes this exact movie every 8-12 months with a slightly different premise and a slightly different female lead. But the exact same level of yawn.

X-Men Origins, Wolverine: I’ll see it, you’ll see it (and apparently some of you interweb pirates already HAVE seen it), it won’t be that great, but hopefully it won’t be as bad as X-2 and X-3 were (minus Kelsey Grammar as Beast, which was still my fave part of that entire trilogy).

Star Trek: Because the Star Wars fans are too rabid to let George Lucas do a true Star Wars reboot, AND because Star Trek fans all secretly know how truly awful the original Star Trek shows and movies were, this movie has been made. I’m only going to see some hot aliens and Sylar from Heroes (season finale next week! And just as it’s finally starting to get good again, too).

Next Day Air: I heard the working title for this movie was “Madea’s Pothead, Slacker Nephew Who Makes Poor Decisions for 90 Minutes at the Risk of His Dead-End Job.”

Angels & Demons: Great, now I have to see The DaVinci Code (but might be worth it to have an excuse to read the books).

Terminator Salvation: Say what you will about Christian Bale being an asshole (you wouldn’t be wrong), the Terminator series being overplayed (you wouldn’t be wrong), and Linda Hamilton being hot (you wouldn’t be right); but I am PUMPED for this movie and all the preliminary signs point to this movie actually being good (maybe even the second-best Terminator movie behind T2).

Night at the Museum 2, Battle of the Smithsonian: And so Ben Stiller drifts slowly into the low stakes world of family-friendly, safe comedies just like Cuba and Eddie and other before him. I’m down with anything that gives Ricky Gervais more work stateside, though.

Dance Flick: Thankfully not made by the same D-bags who are endlessly peddling the Scary Movie franchise of feces, the Wayans Bros. might have enough latent comic ability to make this fly. Or it could be White Chicks 2: Sports Brahs.

Up: Disney, Pixar, adorable premise. You know the drill, let’s just cut Mickey his check for $300 million right now and go home.

— JUNE —
Land of the Lost: Will Ferrell is that strange combo of someone who is commercially hilarious AND actually hilarious (unlike Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Tyler Perry, and most everyone else who’s making comedies these days), plus you mix in Danny McBride in the role he was meant to play (i.e. any sort of sidekick comic relief character) and a remake franchise that’s actually worth remaking, and baby, you’ve got yourself a stew going.

The Hangover: Watch the trailer, become a believer. Zach Galifinakis and Co. are all hilarious, and this one has the cult classic sharpied all over it. Hopefully it’ll make enough money for people to take a chance on this sort of movie again in the future (about the same time I’m ready for my leading feature debut).

My Life in Ruins: My Big Fat Greek Wedding “star” capitalizes on the huge trend of making movies about average-looking, middle-aged women and their love of Greek heritage. Oh, wait.

Imagine That: This is the kind of movie Ben Stiller will be making in a few years if he stays on the path he’s currently on. Now ask people if they like this Eddie Murphy or the old school Eddie Murphy better. You’ve been warned, Ben.

Year One: Superbad with an amped up budget, plot, and a bigger/better star than Jonah Hill? I can smell the quotability from here.

Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen: The first movie about my favorite robots in disguise was one of the only truly successful 80’s reboots in my book, and the sequel should be as large as Shia’s Lebeouf’s head has gotten since last summer. And to quote myself from last year’s movie preview, Spielberg as producer should keep Michael Bay’s tendency to suck at *ahem* bay.

— JULY —
Brüno: Picture an even wilder, even more shocking version of Borat. I’m as afraid as I am ready to laugh. I just hope America gets the joke at some point.

I Love You, Beth Cooper: Hayden Panettiere? Sold. Boom, pedophile’d (like a boss).

Harry Potter and the…Blah blah blah, aren’t these guys like, out of shaman school yet? Yeah, I’ll keep seeing these movies…if only so I can avoid reading the books to see how the series ends.

G-Force: I was actually excited for this movie for .2 seconds when I thought it was a remake of a Japanese cartoon show I liked as a child. But I lost my erection as soon as I found out the “G” in G-Force stands for gerbil. Yeah, gerbil force.

Funny People: I’ve never really thought Adam Sandler was that funny, and he’s doing his best to prove me right beyond the shadow of a doubt in his latter years.

G.I. Joe, The Rise of Cobra: I have a basement full of decapitated action figures and half assembled heli-tanks (half helicopter, half tank. You heard me) that says I have to see this movie. And in no way is that depressing.

Julie & Julia: A chick flick, best-selling novel adaptation and supposed Oscar-contender slated for a summer release? That means one of two things: 1) either this movie blows beyond fixability or 2) Meryl Streep lost a bet. Either way, avoid at all costs.

Inglorious Basterds: Sure they spelled it wrong, but Brad Pitt plus an excuse to swear in public for most of August and September is a good enough reason for me to support a film.

The Post Grad Survival Guide: Alexis Bledel is hot, but I’m secretly afraid of going into this movie and having them show Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 instead. And I’m not sure anyone would be able to tell the difference.

…And there you have it. Those are the 90-120 minute godsends that are going to help me pass the time once the basketball and hockey seasons are over and I’m going through withdrawal until football comes back into my life. Let’s hope they get the job done.

Eating pizza (like a boss), Seacrest out.

Dustin Doctor Audition

As a companion of sorts to the piece I wrote yesterday about auditions, I thought I’d give you a real live glimpse into the everyday auditioning world of professional actor, Dustin Heveron. Enjoy, and feel free to share this with anyone who likes to laugh or who needs a “don’t end up like him” sort of warning in their life. (Full disclosure, it gets pretty PG-13 at parts, so don’t say you weren’t warned).

Play on,

…If you enjoyed that video, other, lower definition and less funny videos of mine can be found here (Dustin as Son of Santa Claus), here (Dustin’s 100% Real Movie Trailer), and here (Dustin makes a short film from start to finish in a single weekend).

Also, because I’m told people like pretty things, here is a pretty picture I took with my iPhone. If you follow me on twitter or instagram, you’ve probably already seen it. Like the badass you are.

People are always complaining about how not beautiful the ocean is, but I just don't get it.

People are always complaining about how not beautiful the ocean is, but I just don’t get it.

What’s your favorite pretty thing? Leave your answers in the comments section!

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What Does The E Stand for Anyway?

This may come as a shock to you, but when I go to the grocery store, I’m going for milk. Maybe some cereal and the occasional can of soup (I know, I’m not much of a chef), but you get the idea: groceries. When I go in to an electronics store, I’m going to try out the latest gadget or gizmo that I can’t afford, or buy the game that everybody else got six months ago. The point is that I don’t go to an electronics store to buy milk, and I don’t go to a grocery store to buy HD televisions.

Which is why I get so frustrated with the way that ESPN tweets (watch as I turn that non-sequitur into just a sequitur with the power of…writing!). I am a sports fan — I might not look it, but I am — and so when I go to social media for sports updates, that’s what I want. Sports updates. News, trade rumors, the latest scores, facts, historical notes, interesting stats — that’s what I want from my sports social media. To the best of my knowledge, I’m in the majority with this sort of thinking. Now, generally, organizations are self-aware enough to realize that this is what their audience is looking for, and they happily deliver. A sort of unspoken social contract of “you give me the info I want and I’ll give you my attention”. Attention is a valuable commodity (arguably the most valuable commodity of our day), and so organizations are usually careful to abuse or waste this sort of thing. For instance when I follow Variety for entertainment news, that’s what they give me: new trailers, insider industry info, contract upheavals, castings, awards coverage, etc. They provide the facts and current info as is, without needless speculation or silly half-witticisms. Unfortunately with the ESPN twitter account, this is only true part of the time.

Some of the time, I get exactly what I want from ESPN’s social media: headlines, scores, trades. But then some of the time I get this ridiculous, half-editorialized faux commentary that reads like my little sister’s tweets (no offense, Alissa). My sister is allowed to tweet like a college-age girl because she is one. The worldwide leader in sports is not. If I wanted to follow someone’s opinions or half-baked witticisms on sports, I’d follow sports writers or anchors that I like. When I roll my eyes at a sports tweet, I want it to because The Cavs lost or The Bengals made a terrible draft pick, not because whoever runs the ESPN twitter is trying to be clever.

Disclaimer: Of course, I understand that I can unfollow at any time, and ultimately I bring all this on myself, but it’s almost July 4th and nothing is more American than complaining about something asinine that you have total control to stop/avoid at any moment. Also, please bear in mind that we are fully in the uncharted depths of the pet peeve zone, so I understand if this seems arbitrary or irrelevant to you. Just chalk it up to one of those things I needed to get off my chest.

With that in mind, I present:

Just the Facts, Ma’am: ESPN and Sports Journalism 101.

Ok so let’s kick off the rant strong: I hate it whenever ESPN talks like it’s our own voice. I am my own person, I don’t need the twitter account of a sports website to try and speak for me. Specifically I don’t need it to imply that I’ve ever gotten up and intentionally watched tennis. Secondably, the NBA made tens of billions of dollars off of me and “Basketball Fans Everywhere” this year, so I think that’s thanks enough. Good rule here, just don’t put words in my mouth. There are plenty there already.

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