Report: James, Williams & Literacy Lead Cavs to Big W Against Pistons

Cleveland, OH — The former NBA champion Detroit Pistons dropped their second straight playoff game to the hosting Cleveland Cavaliers, as LeBron James (Cleveland’s super-athlete small forward), Mo Williams (The Cavs all-star point guard) and Literacy (the ability to read, understand and communicate in the written English language) all combined to give the Cavaliers a huge 94-82 victory today at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland. Ohio-native James gave Cleveland his usual support with 29 points and 13 rebounds, while Literacy made it possible for the Cavaliers to comprehend concepts ranging from who was on the starting lineup, to what hotel/roommate assignments were, to what time the game was scheduled to start, and everything in between. LeBron James — who is currently in his sixth season in the NBA — has had a long history of working with Literacy on and off the court, and many believe Literacy was directly responsible for James’ graduation from St. Vincent-St. Mary High School located in nearby Akron, Ohio. Literacy has become a staple of the Cavaliers’ media interactions as well, with both LeBron and Cleveland Head Coach, Mike Brown, making sure Literacy is prominently featured in their on-court interviews and postgame press conferences — frequently using teleprompters and statistics printouts to assist in making their points.

“Everyone knows this is a team that centers itself around Literacy” Coach Brown told reporters, “that was my philosophy even when I was an assistant coach, and it will continue to be as long as I’m in charge of this franchise.”

Point guard Mo Williams, who the Cavs acquired this year in an offseason trade, agreed with Brown, adding, “Literacy really allows us to read what’s going on, and make adjustments accordingly. [It] really opens up a lot of options for us compared to some of the alternatives.”

When asked his thoughts on how Literacy would affect them in Game 3 — scheduled back in Detroit — LeBron shared that, “Detroit’s never had an understanding or respect for what [Literacy] can do, and that’s a big part of what’s keeping them from reading the writing on the walls. I think there’s a good chance everything’s going to go right over their heads.”

As usual, any trace of the Cavs and Literacy were long gone by the time the Detroit Pistons’ press conference began.

Reporting for the Los Angeles Gazette Times Tribune Dispatch Herald Informer Chronicle Examiner Register Times Post Journal, I’m Dustin Heveron.

“The LA GTTDHICERTPJ, your number-one source for acronyms.”


“I’ma fowl’d! Refs be giving ‘Sheed mah points or da Rip beet me on teem bus! Cheetoes is yummers! Boom!” -Rasheed Wallace, on the complex internal collapse the Pistons have suffered this season.

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