Who Cares About ’08: April, May, June

!Hõla niños! Back with another installment of the año in review…but decided that since 2008 was lame, I’m gonna turn my insightful eye back on the year 1908, recapping all the important things that happened in that epic year. Enjoy.

+The 1908 Year in Review+
April:
20 – Sunshine Train Disaster: Two trains collide in Melbourne, Australia, killing 44 and injuring 400. A massive candlelight vigil is held to remember the victims, but quickly evolves into Australia’s second largest barbeque.
21 – Frederick Cook claims to have reached the North Pole on this date. He then claims to have invented the internet; a tactic that would later be copied by many other lame middle-aged men looking to give their life some meaning.
24 – The seventh deadliest tornado in US history strikes the towns of Pine, Louisiana and Purvis, Mississippi, killing 143 people and injuring 770. But the real controversy would be how the tornado was ranked sixth in the Coaches’ and AP polls, leading the nation to once again question the accuracy of the current ranking systems and instead demand an eight-tornado playoff at the end of the season.


The seventh-ranked tornado, just prior to claiming it should be ranked sixth, and that it wanted to take on USC in the Rose Bowl.

May:
10 – Mother’s Day is observed for the first time at Andrew’s Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia. Prior to that, the congregation’s mothers were only acknowledged during the annual “Maybe My Mom’s a Witch” Potluck/Barbeque.
28 – Ian Fleming, author of the famed James Bond series is born in England. His British nanny is instructed that the child is to be shaken, not stirred.


Even at a young age, Fleming wastes no time in developing his famous fictitious spy character. This is right before he shot the recess monitor with his 9mm pistol.

June:
Everybody just took a big o’l nap, on account of how “powerful warm” it was. Several women in and around the Alabama/Georgia/Louisiana areas publicly declared to be suffering from “the vapors.” Their collective self-diagnosis was later proven by a team of neurosurgeons to just to be a “lame attempt at flirting with that Johnson boy” who lives “down the road a spell.”


This man won both best and worst dressed of 1908. He also might be a young Colonel Sanders.

Ok, I’m off to dreamland, another three months in review to come tomorrow. Be there! …Or don’t be there. Those are pretty much your two main options.

Ciao,
Dustin

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