I Am Ironman

Who is Dustin Heveron? And why does he smell so good, but look so bad?

Basically, that’s my way of apologizing to you for taking such an abrupt hiatus from keeping your mind-stomachs filled with humorous blog entries. My life has been crazy with all the typical stuff: work, play, sleep, and meeting celebs (ask me if you want a list of who I’ve met), so I’ve neglected to write things. On the downside, that trend of blog-irregularity is probably going to continue for a while longer as I’m getting ready for a big move (not as big as the last one though), continue to nail down work stuff, and just a lot of other things that are either too complicated or too boring to discuss here. That said, let’s talk about movies!

As you may or may not know, some of my favorite things in life are loud noises, dark rooms, folding seats, and paying people $12-$18 for 2.5 hours of their company. So naturally, going to the movies is one of my favorite pastimes. I’m pretty much always in the mood for a movie, and I usually enjoy the typical lineup of summer blockbusters and industry mathematics (Will Smith + Fourth of July Weekend = $300 billion). But this summer looks even better than most summers, as there are already a ton of movies I’m pumped to see, and a host of others that I’m looking forward to a lesser degree. I won’t give you the full rundown here, but basically there is one movie that I want to see coming out every weekend from May 4th until sometime in early September. Here are the ones on that list so far:

May 2nd — Ironman
May 9th — Speed Racer
May 16th — Narnia

For the sake of getting you up to speed, I’m gonna give you a quick blurb on what I thought of each of these flicks. And don’t worry, everything’s spoiler-free if you’re concerned about me divulging the endings.

Ironman: Amazing. This is one of the best superhero movies of all time, and easily the best movie of 2008 so far (though with the new Indiana Jones and The Dark Knight both due out soon, it probably won’t hold this title for long). The effects enhance the movie without taking over or distracting you from the story, the acting is spot on for this kind of film, and aside from having a minor gripe about the ending, there was nothing I disliked about this film. If you haven’t seen it yet, go see it. Now. If you have seen it already, go see it again and maybe buy an Ironman helmet to wear to the theater this time. And make sure to stay for the credits. Wink.

Speed Racer: I wouldn’t say I was truly excited for this movie, but I was really just hoping the Wachowski Bros. would write something awesome to restore the general public’s faith in their ability. Sadly, this appears to not have happened since the movie was panned by movie-goers and movie critics alike. Oh well, maybe they can drag some extra street cred by getting Matrix 4 produced. Not likely though.

Chronicles of Narnia — Prince Caspian: A relatively slow start and some spotty acting in the first half hour made me worry that the sequel machine was going to ruin another decent franchise, but those fears were quickly abated when the rest of the movie kicked in and I was drawn into the world and characters like a kid to a wardrobe full of fur coats. It’s good. Probably not as good as the first, but this movie is a different kind of story, so that’s ok. The production value alone is worth the price of admission, and it’s probably the first family/kids movie I’ve seen in a long time that doesn’t condescend to it’s target demographic. If you didn’t like the first one, or haven’t read the books, or are a generally negative and grumpy person, then you should probably save your money and just Netflix this one. But if you’d enjoy a fun romp through a land of talking animals and are a fan of short-people jokes, then bust out your “I Liam Neeson” t-shirts and check it out. I hear you get a discount on admission if you bring your own lion.

Alright chums, that’s it for now. As always, I have a ton of things brimming just beneath the surface that I’ll be excited to share with you in the coming weeks, but until then, I hope you can survive on a steady diet of my biased movie reviews and stereotypes about centaurs (I hear they’re hung like horses. …Kids, don’t repeat that in front of your parents, I don’t need any more angry emails this week).

I might not be Ironman, but I still have buns of steel.


Chipotle Costumes for Halloween? Or the original Ironman prototypes? You be the judge.


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